Week 1 of my Four Weeks of Rebirth, a countdown to my “New Year”, begins this weekend, where I will share some of my preparations for this annual practice of mine. I am unlikely to mention anything you have not heard before. I will, however, emphasise how these seemingly little practices have transformed my life. 

Firstly, just because something is simple doesn’t make it easy. Secondly, consistency is almost impossible if you don’t know how you tick or what makes you tick. If you don’t understand what motivates, inspires or pushes you to complete a task, chances are you won’t know how to show up for yourself. 

If you don’t know what stops you from completing a task or what makes you say one thing and do another - you will struggle to control much of what happens to you. Instead of creating the life events you desire, you will live reactively instead of creatively. Granted, there are many things we can not control, like the systems we live under, but still, there is an agency in your life that deserves your attention. Know your purpose, whether it comes to you or whether you create it, and understand what stands between you and this purpose - and then recreate yourself to fit that purpose.

However, before we know ourselves and our purpose, we will experience a lot of stagnation caused by changing our minds too much. It is fine. You learn sooner or later that flip-flopping and being hot and cold, and being inconsistent don’t serve you. Although changing your mind is your prerogative which you should take advantage of as many times as you wish, it is essential to note that one of the biggest causes for not completing a task, or reaching a goal, is changing your mind about what you desire (and lack of motivation which we will discuss next week). One day you wake up and choose to be a better person (whatever that is to you), but a week later, you decide to be the complete opposite of your idea of a “better person”.

Let’s take sleep, for example. One day you choose to take your sleep health seriously. You take your magnesium, avoid blue light on your devices and keep lights down from eight at night. Then a month later, you decide to throw that routine away and use your magnesium budget for wine, stay up with all lights on until midnight, and so on. What was your purpose in choosing to sleep better in the first place? Did you achieve your goal now that you have stopped your strategies? If you did not achieve your goal of better sleep, why did you stop working on it before you obtained the desired result? Is it because the strategy doesn’t work, or is it because you lost motivation? Is it because you decided there was something better than good sleep? You have to know the answers to all this to understand how you tick and how you play yourself.

Change your mind as much as you wish, especially when you have new data that proves that you were going in a direction that doesn’t serve you - but don’t stop your strategy because you lacked motivation or just lost interest, or worse, stopped a strategy without knowing why. If you still desire to sleep well, instead of giving up, find out why you go against yourself sleeping better.

I generally choose the same thing all the time. It may not seem that way on the outside, but I choose the same thing constantly. I choose joy. I choose to be loving to myself and others, I choose peace within and without, and I choose to empower myself and others. After 12 months, I review the self, and I interview myself to see if I am on track and if there are any areas to streamline or things to let go of.

Remember, too, that the brain is more inclined to ignore good things that are working well and emphasises the things that aren’t going well. It is for survival. It is “natural” to focus on what’s falling apart, lacking or bad. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. The brain sees what it is used to seeing, so what happens is that we can easily get caught up in a spiral of negativity, low self-worth, inconsistency and hopelessness. Therefore, if the brain is used to you flaking on yourself, it may think you like it and make you crave such.

This is why I am almost religious, with practices that push back and fight the inclination towards self-sabotage.  I practice gratitude and don’t compromise on it. Giving thanks is how I allow my brain to see the goodness that exists, the goodness that it easily camouflages. I don’t compromise on meditation, either. Meditation allows me to develop the ability to feel my body, which then helps me know what I am experiencing and how to combat it if need be. I also prioritise regulating my nervous system. I make it as important as eating and drinking to remain in a state of mind calm. Lastly, I intentionally create and behold the beauty that inspires awe. 

Art and creativity allow me to find this mental health equilibrium. Your method might not be artistic. It could be social interactions and relationships with friends, family, your pet, or a combination of all that centre you. Being of service, giving your time or services to others helps too. Genuine kindness is quite grounding. Doing less and just existing can also help.

I employ a few strategies daily, which I will detail in my newsletter. For me, these strategies are done through the lens of artistic expression, creativity, and even the spiritual practices of my culture, the Zulu and Xhosa cultures.